A French football fan, a German football fan and an English football
fan are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze, when
all of a sudden, Saudi police rush in and arrest them.

The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia,
so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze,
they are all sentenced to death.

However, after many months and with the help of good lawyers, they
are able to successfully appeal their sentences down to life
imprisonment.

By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their
trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be
released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were
preparing for the whipping, the Sheikh announced "It is my first wife's
birthday today, and she has asked me to allow you one wish before your
whipping."

The Frenchman was first in line, he thought for a while and then
said, "Please tie a pillow to my back". This was done, but the pillow only
lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was
done, he had to be carried away bleeding and crying in pain.

The German was next up. After watching the Frenchman's pain in
horror, he said smugly "Please fix two pillows to my back". But even two
pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through and again
the German was led away whimpering loudly (as they do)

The Englishman was the last one up, but before he could say anything
the Sheikh turned to him and said. " You are from a most beautiful part
of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For
this you may have two wishes". "Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful
Highness" The Englishman replied. "My first wish is that you give me not
20 lashes, but 100 lashes". "Not only are you an honourable person,
you are also very brave" said the Sheikh with an admiring look on his
face. If a 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second
wish?.

"Tie the Frenchman to my back".